Happy Halloween but Don’t be a Racist Asshole

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former

~ Albert Einstein

October 31, 2014

I’ll admit it. I have been invited to “Too Soon” parties in my day. I have even contemplated going. But I never did. Because it actually is “too soon” for some things. For a lot of things, it’s always going to be “too soon.”

But Halloween seems to be a time when people think it’s funny to be an idiot at best, a racist at worst. Don’t be one of these people.

I’ll never forget Halloween at UNC. Halloween, for those who don’t know, at the University of North Carolina is a big freaking deal. I mean, BIG.

crowd-on-franklin-street

Source: https://plus.google.com/+JesseWojdylo/posts/eGTH6pWFnzA Crowd on Franklin Street at UNC on Halloween, 2012

Basically every college kid from North Carolina shows up. It’s the only time of the year that you will see Duke students (who are drunk, also probably for the only time that year) brushing shoulders with Chapel Hill kids. NC State is there, UNC Asheville and UNC Wilmington and all the other branch campuses are there. App State and Eastern Carolina are there. Everyone, who is anyone, is there.

And in October of 2007, when I was a sophomore, I was dressed as a slutty schoolgirl (just as classic as it is classy, I know). My boyfriend at the time was one of the bad guys from the 300, the Ninja fighter people. Anyway, we were pretty tame compared to the 1,238,402 people I saw dressed in blackface as Michael Vick, dragging a stuffed dog behind them on a chain.

I’m very involved in animal welfare. I wasn’t then to be fair, but even then, I thought: Wow. So not cool. As a Catholic, I didn’t really think the slutty nuns were very cool either, or the people cleverly dressed as pedophile priests.

There are so many actually clever costumes you could wear, and so many different ways to wear as little clothing as possible that it doesn’t make a ton of sense to be offensive. Unless you’re just looking to be noticed. But for anyone with half a brain, it’s the wrong kind of noticed. I promise. I’m proud to say I have half a brain (most of the time).

But this year, I saw a Halloween costume that really just took the offensive prize. The grandaddy of all offensive costumes. It combines a lack of tact, a lack of consideration, islamaphobia, and immodesty  and ratchets them up to a whole new level.

sexy_isis_halloween_costume_1a55i8n-1a55ibg

Photo by Twitter/@ForeignPussy

Oh yeah, sexy ISIS members. Fan-f-ing-tastic. For the record, this was NOT taken at UNC, but it really wouldn’t surprise me if there are some people at UNC running around in this costume this evening, because Halloween is, like I said, a big deal there, and some people just can’t help but be offensive idiots.

There is nothing sexy about ISIS and in fact, ISIS would likely crucify and/or behead someone who even DARED to wear something like this in their “territory.” I read an article recently (which you can read here) detailing all the horrible things ISIS is doing to its female “slaves” including many of the Yazidi people. They’re housing hundreds of women in buildings where ISIS militants can come and pick out a few to take home for the evening. The lucky winners get a day or a weekend or several weeks of beatings, torture, and of course, rape. Lots of rape.

Very sexy. Because you know what ISIS screams to me? Hooker boots and fishnet stockings. Nevermind all that mass murder, torture, beheadings, crucifixions, ethnic cleansing, forced conversions and rape camps. No, it’s all about the hooker boots and fishnets. And bonus! When you wear a jacked up version of a niqaab you have less makeup to worry about. Man, those Muslim women living under ISIS have the life.

So if you were planning on being a sexy ISIS militant, or a sexy Ebola nurse or do a couples Ray Rice and his black and blue wife for this Halloween, here’s a tip – just don’t. Be a Playboy bunny or something. I would rather see your ass than see your ass AND be massively offended at the same time.

Happy Halloween! And remember, don’t be a racist asshole.

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